The World Cup

The world cup is finally over, which means we can finally stop talking about soccer.

America really jumped on the world cup bandwagon, causing many to proclaim that "soccer has arrived!" in the US but I doubt it will take much more than a few months before we've all forgotten about it.

Pro soccer in the US is largely thought of as uninteresting. It is hard to argue with the low scoring and constant diving. However, I think I have determined how we can fix soccer and make it watchable:

1. Offsides

Offsides in soccer is fucking bullshit. See my sweet diagram:

In every other sport (basketball, hockey, even football in a way) this would be an awesome play. The offense (X) beats the defender to get into scoring position. In soccer, you can't pass to a player who is past the forward most defender or something like that.
I would change it to be more like hockey with an offensive zone, maybe even a shot clock.

2. Play Lacrosse instead.

Lacrosse is like an awesome hybrid of soccer and hockey. Some leagues even allow fighting. In the pros they have a shot clock. That makes it fast with lots of shots and lots of hitting.
Maybe if you played lacrosse with a soccer ball...