Little boy yells at his mom for getting preggo

This kid gets it. So young and even he can realize his parents only have a limited amount of time/money to spend on him and he already has to share that with his little brother.

The World Cup

The world cup is finally over, which means we can finally stop talking about soccer.

America really jumped on the world cup bandwagon, causing many to proclaim that "soccer has arrived!" in the US but I doubt it will take much more than a few months before we've all forgotten about it.

Pro soccer in the US is largely thought of as uninteresting. It is hard to argue with the low scoring and constant diving. However, I think I have determined how we can fix soccer and make it watchable:

1. Offsides

Offsides in soccer is fucking bullshit. See my sweet diagram:

In every other sport (basketball, hockey, even football in a way) this would be an awesome play. The offense (X) beats the defender to get into scoring position. In soccer, you can't pass to a player who is past the forward most defender or something like that.
I would change it to be more like hockey with an offensive zone, maybe even a shot clock.

2. Play Lacrosse instead.

Lacrosse is like an awesome hybrid of soccer and hockey. Some leagues even allow fighting. In the pros they have a shot clock. That makes it fast with lots of shots and lots of hitting.
Maybe if you played lacrosse with a soccer ball...

Waste Management Open

Today I will be attending the Waste Management Phoenix Open at TPC Scottsdale. I've never been to a PGA event before but I expect it should be a good time, especially after it's been described as "the drunkest tournament of the PGA season"

Pics and updates later today/tomorrow. For real time updates follow me on twitter @newnaughty

Can someone make sense of what is going on here?

One of my friends from NH just sent me this video of a cop pushing a car through an intersection in the snow. I can't figure out how to upload the video since it was sent on facebook but this screen shot pretty much tells the whole story.

Lacrosse announcer reinvents the announcing game

Click here to see the video because I can't be bothered to embed it

The other announcer at the end sums it up best: "I don't know what was more impressive, that goal or that call"

P.S. How about the pass that set up that goal. Just wide open.

So the Red Sox won. Boston is sure to be a fucking mad house tonight. I heard the president was there today too? Strangely no one gave a shit, even the local papers barely mentioned it:

Anyways the game was actually pretty great, which should mean something coming from someone that regularly compares watching baseball to watching paint dry. Yet for me the victory was somewhat soured by the Bruins losing. I didn't watch much of that game since I was watching the Red Sox but it seems like it could have been much worse if it wasn't for Rask. He kept knocking them away but they would get rebound after rebound. The Bruins were outshot 23 to 31. Some great plays but obviously not their best performance. Too bad since a win in Pittsburgh would have made the win in Boston that much sweeter. Good thing its only the beginning of the season!

Bruins win, Red Sox win, Celtics win.

Great night to be a Boston fan.

Maybe not such a great night to be Loui Eriksson:

NewNaughty:West

This weekend I am moving into a new place in Scottsdale, AZ. I know this site has kinda been put on the back burner the last few months but now I think its time to revamp the site and start anew as NewNaughty:West

It won't be long until another one of the original NewNaughty members will be moving to LA to pursue his dreams so I think over time we should have a good variety of stories from AZ and LA. Hopefully with the occasional Boston story mixed in.

Hockey season has started which means you can probably expect some Bruins talk as well but that depends on how much time I spend actually watching the games instead of just getting drunk and playing GTA V.

Last Night We Went Out In New Hampshire And...

Me: Why did we come here, this place sucks.
Batman: Because this where everyone our age hangs out, it's like a college bar.
Me: Well is it a gay college bar? Because there is a lot of dudes here.

I've noticed alot of girls have gotten into relationships towards the end of 2012. Well I am going to make a prediction: 90% of relationships that started between August and February will be done by July.

1 1/2 oz 151 proof rum
2 - 3 dashes Tabasco sauce

Build ingredients in a shot glass, and serve.

Sounds scary.
It's called a prairie dog; some girl recommended this shot to me on facebook but I've yet to find anyone with a stomach strong enough to try it with me. 

This got me thinking about other shots I've never tried:

Feeling Canadian? How about a 'Moose Fart':

1 part Absolut vodka
1 part Crown Royal Canadian whiskey
1 part Kahlua coffee liqueur
1 part Bailey's Irish cream

Be careful when ordering this next one, the bartender might take it the wrong way:

Sit On My Face 

1/3 oz Kahlua coffee liqueur
1/3 oz Frangelico hazelnut liqueur
1/3 oz Bailey's Irish cream

Burning Nazi

1/2 oz Jagermeister herbal liqueur
1/2 oz Rumple Minze peppermint liqueur

 What's your favorite shot? Write on our wall at https://www.facebook.com/inspiredbyliving

Diet Mixers

All the media this morning has been talking about a new study from Northern Kentucky University. The study is to be published in a journal called "Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research," which really should be the title of my memoirs.

The study consisted of 16 young men and women who were given either Smirnoff mixed with Squirt, Smirnoff mixed with diet Squirt, or a placebo drink. I was under the impression that they didn't even sell Squirt anymore but apparently NKU had a couple cans they really needed to get rid of, or maybe they were just trying to find the most obscure mixer possible (they would have used Tab but they wanted something that didn't have caffeine).

The conclusion of the study was that "[a]t all times, the amount of alcohol measured in the volunteers’ breath was higher among those whose cocktails included diet drinks. And while the participants never reached the legal limit when they drank sugared soda with alcohol, they exceeded the safe limit for driving within 40 minutes if they had the diet cocktail." They also said the diet Squirt group apparently didn't feel any more drunk but performed worse at tasks, so diet mixers can be trouble...

 

WARNING: diet mixers may lead to waking up next to her.